Sunday, July 31, 2005

In the Name of Change

Leave it alone! She's changing!

As I sipped tea, eight other individuals strolled into the conference room at the Equatorial hotel on a Saturday afternoon. Some knew each other, demonstrated by their endless hugs and kisses, but I didn't. I only knew my client, who was at the time busy directing the photographers where to set up the backdrop. While all this was happening, I sat at the table, smiled at the Lady in Green who sat next to me, and continued to munch on the hotel sandwiches.

Soon after, the moderator of the talk got up and directed everybody to say their name, their occupation, and explain why they were there. Predictably, I was asked to be the first to do so. Dammit!!!

Hello, I'm Muddy, I said, while glancing at everybody at the room. I am a management consultant, and...the reason why I am here is...because...I have always been curious about cosmestic surgery. I know absolutely nothing about it, beyond what I have seen on TV.

I looked at my client, and she gave me a smile, somewhat hinting how sorry she was that I had to filled in for a participant who cancelled last minute. Despite that I was actually there to view the dialogue on the side, I agreed to participate, largely because I was fascinated by the topic.

One by one, everyone expressed their viewpoints on cosmetic surgery :

"A person can do whatever they want. But the key point is moderation."

"These reality shows only makes people have high or wrong impressions of what cosmetic surgery can do for them."

"There is absolutely no insurance for cosmetic surgery. Why should there be insurance for a girl who wants to get her boobs bigger?"

"I don't understand why people want to have double eye-lids. You were genetically programmed not to have that. Deal with it!"

"I had liposuction done on my thighs. It's still big though."

Even I contributed my fair share, but while all this was happening, no one knew that I had a dark secret. And it's across my chest and upper arm.

You see, I have a large birthmark and I have always felt embarrassed about it. When I was a kid, everyone asked what it was, and I remember I said, It's sunburn. Strangely, it was a permanent one, and I kept on asking Ma why I had to have one.

As I grew older, I begin to accept this mark and carry it proudly, because truly, it's proof of my mother's love and how she never gave up into bringing me in this world. But, sadly to say, a tiny part of me still feels somewhat irritated, especially when some people continue to stare at the area whenever I am shirtless.

At one point of the discussion, I blurted out this fact.

"Take your off your shirt!" a lady yelled.

I soon came to realize what a big mistake I have made, as everyone glowered for me to reveal my natural tattoo. Miraculously, the moderator saw how embarrassed I was, and ushered everybody a pleasant evening ahead.

Thank God! I thought. Half naked infront of my client? Aiyooo!!!

Tuesday, July 26, 2005


I like the orange one

I have this habit of making up my own song lyrics sometimes...

While driving to work this morning, the radio played an old Macy Gray's song. There's a line in the song, which I always thought were: "I wore goggles when you are not there."

When I first heard that song, I thought that specific string of lyrics was very clever. I interpretted that line as if she needed to wear goggles to see clearly through her emotional mess when her boyfriend wasn't around. However, it was clear that she was in fact really sad but doesn't want to show it to her boyfriend. Thus, she continued to hide her tears behind her goggles.

Later on a friend told me I was a ding dong. It was suppose to be: "My world crumbles when you are not there."

I. Was. Crushed.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

It Started Off With A Bus Ride...

Destination: Paradise

It was a Thursday morning and I was at the bus station infront of PWTC. Unlike the usual and familiar Thursday mornings where the office is quiet as a dead mouse, the bus station was different. Old women with brightly colored tudungs munched loudly on kuici. Little children in slippers laughed and ran annoyingly around our plastic seats. Two blind men who sat beside me grew tempers on how the nasi lemak gave them stomach problems. While all this was happening, I remained quiet and confused. Like a bad habit, I kept on looking at the bus ticket and at the digital clock on the wall. I guess this is what happens when it is the first time you are riding on a bus to travel alone. You grow paranoid every second that you might miss it.

The bus finally came, and it surprised me that the bus wasn't that bad. The seats were comfortable, inviting me to doze off quite quickly. And I liked the fact that the people around me was quiet and minded their own business. No one talked to each other, except for a quick chat with the bus driver to where he should drop us off. It was perfect.

After a fast five hours, the bus finally stopped infront of the Petronas station in Kerteh. I went off the bus, thanked the bus driver, and stepped into the air-conned station, waiting for Shobshob to pick me up. And while waiting for him, my mind churned to find the purpose of this sudden holiday. Was it to relax? Was it to have fun? Was it for soul-searching purposes? I quickly snapped back, telling my Consultant self to shut up, while I grabbed an orange popsicle.

It doesn't matter, I thought. You're finally here.


Terengganu proved to be amazing.

At the sight of the sea, I took off my flip flops... sit by the wooden benches and let my toes breathe.

The beach was serene and soul-calming during the day...

...and festive at night. (Yes, those chefs were at my call! huhuhu...)


It's Sunday, and my bus ride is at 11.40 am.

(I am going to miss this un-planned, ad hoc, spontaneous type of life. My soul feels rested and alive.)

And at 11.40 am I will travel back home. And to rush to Bangsar to meet up with Khaylis for an relaxing afternoon drink and a surprise.

Yes, today, I am going to meet up with Dina Zaman...

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

A Quickie Vacation

Welcome to Paradise

As my company will officially be bought over in August, my boss asked everybody to use up the annual leaves as much as they can, while having 50 percent of the left overs carried over to the new contract or to have them compensated.

The Infamous HR emailed just now to remind me that I have not used any of my leaves. Gosh, do I love my work that much???

As I am forced to go on a holiday, I have decided to leave my beloved KL tomorrow by riding a buss to Terengannu, and to meet my homeboys, Shobsbob and Krinch. To think about it, this is a much needed break. My mind and soul is congested with unnecesary office politics, and I need to remember how intoxicating the sea breeze smelt. Or how alive my spirit feels when overlooking the vast blue sea. Or how walking and running barefoot in the sand makes me feel like a kid again.

I can't wait...

Monday, July 18, 2005

Human Peeves

Like watching paint dry

Upon many interview sessions I had with an O&G company, they later asked me to fill in this huge questionairre. It was suppose to provide inroads to my personality. All I can say is, whatever.

I filled it up fairly quickly, but there's a few sets of questions surrounding a theme which I toiled and thought deeply about : "How well can I tolerate different personalities?"

Recently, at my current company, I won a client. (Woohoo!!!) Their business compliment me very well, because it involves with branding and media. The management team is very creative and down-right nice, except for one person. The Lady in Accounts makes me want to poke holes in my eyes. Or jump out of the building. Or set myself on fire. And all that would be completely bliss compared to what I have to tolerate from her.

Everytime I asked her a question, she provides me with the LONGEST pause, stares at me with the blurrest face, and then respond stuff like "I need to go to the ladies" or "Can this wait".


Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Lunch at 1.30

Not My Type of Combo

"Hey, I think I scratched your car!"

That was what I heard as I was walking out of the car park at 8 this morning. I swear I felt my blood pressure went completely upstairs, as I found myself turning around, storming towards this Chinese couple and their red Camry.

Where did you scratch my car? I asked, trying to remain really cool.

"There," the Lady in the Short Skirt said, pointing to the passenger's side of my Waja. "But it's no longer there."

That's when I realised it was THEY who scratched my car.

"You got it fixed?" the Man in the Grey Suit asked.

Yeah, I got it fixed, I said, trying to remain really cool still.

"How much?" the Man in the Grey Suit asked, while flashing tons of cash notes in his LV wallet.

I got it fixed for only RM20 bucks, I responded.

That's when the Man in the Grey Suit laughed, and said, "You're too cute. Here's RM200. It's RM20 for the scratch and RM180 for not paying you on time."

At that moment, I stood still, confused that he handed me four crisp fifty notes and that he called me cute.

"By the way," the Lady in the Short Skirt said, "I like what you are wearing. You go the gym?" She lightly touched my shoulder with her fore finger and said, "Nice."


It was 10.30 am, and I was YMing Khaylis of what happened. She typed: "They're swingers, Muddy!"

I always thought that those people only lived in Texas or California. But in KL???

I continued working, but soon got distracted, when the Couple texted me, "Lunch at 1.30. Be there if you can."


Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Note to Moi Aussi

He's Everywhere!!!

1. I have noticed that most in the blogworld are currently VERY BUSY. Unfortunately, I am subjected to the same virus and emotional decay. But no matter how busy I am, I managed some minutes to sneak and read my A-list blog writers. It keeps me feeling happy and updated. If I don't comment, please forgive my sudden inability to be witty. Or to think, for that matter. (My brain is fried, people!!!)

2. Now, a quick post for the day:

Who Cupid hits his arrow with have been the underlying subject of many lovers' tales and movies. But, for me, the interest currently lies in where he does his work.

Where, as in, cyberspace.

I have realised that there are a few special beings who have managed to find sparks of love via chatrooms, emails and recently, blogs. Through words and phrases used, and most importantly the way they deliver their thoughts and tales, have caused many into developing crushes over the other being, even without meeting them. Is cyberspace the platform which openly welcomes the notion of Love At First Words?

For me, that is truly special.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005




"Hey, are you asleep?"

I must have been, because the lights were off in my bedroom. Yeahhhhhh, who's this?

"Hey its me, dude."

It took me awhile to decipher who it was. I stared at my phone, just looking at the numbers 2.30 blinking back at me. Below it was a name I haven't heard for the longest time. And it was welcoming.

Dude! I yelled, still in bed. What's up?

"Nothing really. Just wondering whether you wanted to chill. I am infront of your house already."

You fuck! Tomorrow's work lah. I can't!

"Dude, I don't care! Come out now! For old times sake."

Old times was when I would sneak out of the house to go to Nouvo with the guys. Old times was when we would drink teh tarik at Darul Ehsan until dawn. Old times was when we would honk at all the girls in little Kancils passing us by on Federal Highway. But now its 2.40 am in the morning, and I have a presentation at 10. Old times seemed like a very distant memory.

But I haven't seen him for the longest time. And found my self unlocking the gate of my house and stepping into his grey Beamer. At that moment, I felt like I was 18 again.

"Dude, how are you?"

Nothing much lah. Same o, same o. How about you?

"Well, I am leaving to Australia this Saturday."

For what?

"For good," he responded, still able to zig zag like a demon across the highway without looking. "I have decided to live with my mom there."

He is an only child. And for the past three years, his mom and dad seperated. His dad lives in Subang. His mother in Perth. I could never totally relate to his troubles, but as a friend, I listened. I remember there were times back then that he would park his car infront of my house and just sleep there. And my Ma would always, in her early morning routine of watering the garden, knock at his Beamer's window and asked him to come in for nasi goreng. He never onced declined. He always said that he loved my family.

"Dude, go check what's inside the dashboard."

I went to check to find some homemade cigarettes in a ziplock bag. You got weed???

"Yeah, go light it up. For old times sake."

It was incredibly tempting. The sweet smell lingered in my nose, but the thought of being high during a presentation with my largest client was disturbing. And funny too. I have to pass, dude.

"It's cool," he said, "It's my last stash before I'm coming clean."

We drove around Shah Alam, passing by Concorde, the blue Mosque, and Projet. Like old times, we sang along with 112, Dru Hill and Boys II Men. With the windows pulled down low, we laughed, while letting the breeze sail through our hair, remembering how good it felt to roam the night aimlessly.

Soon after, we were infront of my house again. And I got off the car, turning back so say, Thanks for the night pal. I hope we can chill again.

"Sure thing, in Perth," he said, while flashing out a grin. "And remember this always, dude. Be spontaneous."

Be spontaneous, I repeated.

Angel At No Good


Okay, here's the situation:

No matter how many times I tried, Angel always dissaproves of the girls that I dated. And no matter I want to prove her wrong, for some bizarre reasons, the probability that she is right is high. So, should I listen to her? Should I venture out with the girl of her picking? Even when I know I am capable of dating on my own?

The only problem is that she decided to match-make me with a girl I used to have a crush on before I met up with my Infamous Ex at our local U. The girl of Angel's choice is her bestfriend. The girl of Angel's choice is also the Ex of my college bro. The girl of Angel's choice looks alot like luscious Camelia. The girl of Angel's choice is also currently dating another girl.

That's right. A girl.

According to Angel, I can save her. From what???

I think this is a venture that I know I am going to lose. Really, really lose.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Cats & Kids

Here kitty kitty kitty

It was one of those weekends where I didn't want to do anything. I wanted to be lazy. A bloody sloth. I guess when you are highly productive (in terms of work that is) during the whole week, you just burn out to settle for no-brainer tasks during the weekend. Correction. No-brainer nothing. In addition to that, I was struggling to breathe, because a slight flu + sinus = a breathing disaster. According to my nose specialist, he said that my nose was slightly crooked to the left, so that it hits my sinus passage way, causing friction and bleeding if I blow my nose too hard. He recommended that I do a nose job. Erk???

Anyway, despite being lazy to do anything, I managed to move my body to meet a very close bud of mine, who was to leave to Bangkok for work. (Yeah right!) After a brief shopping stint at OU, we rushed back to his place, because he wanted to watch Marsha sing at the AF3 concert. I swear to God...

After the concert was over, we lepaked at a mamak close by.

"You know what?" he asked.


"As a single thirty-something, I am pretty happy with my life. I treat myself well. I can afford anything I want. I can travel whenever I please. But all this is difficult at my company."

What do you mean?

"Everyone is married at my company," he said, while raising his left eyebrow. "And you know how it is. They always have this sorry look for me."

Ah, who cares.

"You know I love Jengga right?" he asked, referring to his beloved orange cat. "He's like a child to me. I even have Jengga's picture as the wallpaper for my work computer, while everyone have pictures of their family. And guess what?"


"Boleh tak some of my colleagues would say, 'Oh, kucing tu hidup lagi ke?' I am like what the fuck. Imagine if I would respond with, 'Oh, anak anak hidup lagi ke?'"

I nodded, agreeing to every word.