Sunday, July 31, 2005

In the Name of Change

Leave it alone! She's changing!

As I sipped tea, eight other individuals strolled into the conference room at the Equatorial hotel on a Saturday afternoon. Some knew each other, demonstrated by their endless hugs and kisses, but I didn't. I only knew my client, who was at the time busy directing the photographers where to set up the backdrop. While all this was happening, I sat at the table, smiled at the Lady in Green who sat next to me, and continued to munch on the hotel sandwiches.

Soon after, the moderator of the talk got up and directed everybody to say their name, their occupation, and explain why they were there. Predictably, I was asked to be the first to do so. Dammit!!!

Hello, I'm Muddy, I said, while glancing at everybody at the room. I am a management consultant, and...the reason why I am here is...because...I have always been curious about cosmestic surgery. I know absolutely nothing about it, beyond what I have seen on TV.

I looked at my client, and she gave me a smile, somewhat hinting how sorry she was that I had to filled in for a participant who cancelled last minute. Despite that I was actually there to view the dialogue on the side, I agreed to participate, largely because I was fascinated by the topic.

One by one, everyone expressed their viewpoints on cosmetic surgery :

"A person can do whatever they want. But the key point is moderation."

"These reality shows only makes people have high or wrong impressions of what cosmetic surgery can do for them."

"There is absolutely no insurance for cosmetic surgery. Why should there be insurance for a girl who wants to get her boobs bigger?"

"I don't understand why people want to have double eye-lids. You were genetically programmed not to have that. Deal with it!"

"I had liposuction done on my thighs. It's still big though."

Even I contributed my fair share, but while all this was happening, no one knew that I had a dark secret. And it's across my chest and upper arm.

You see, I have a large birthmark and I have always felt embarrassed about it. When I was a kid, everyone asked what it was, and I remember I said, It's sunburn. Strangely, it was a permanent one, and I kept on asking Ma why I had to have one.

As I grew older, I begin to accept this mark and carry it proudly, because truly, it's proof of my mother's love and how she never gave up into bringing me in this world. But, sadly to say, a tiny part of me still feels somewhat irritated, especially when some people continue to stare at the area whenever I am shirtless.

At one point of the discussion, I blurted out this fact.

"Take your off your shirt!" a lady yelled.

I soon came to realize what a big mistake I have made, as everyone glowered for me to reveal my natural tattoo. Miraculously, the moderator saw how embarrassed I was, and ushered everybody a pleasant evening ahead.

Thank God! I thought. Half naked infront of my client? Aiyooo!!!


Blogger asm@di said...

Second comment for today :D

Yes, am a Muddy as well, albeit spelled differently. And not many people call me by that actually, just my high school friends and family.

When I was a very impressionable teenager, I thought of having my nose done when I become an adult, because I thought my nose is too big.My Abah of course membebel2 cakap, "Ciptaan Tuhan ko nak ubah2, ko tak tau berdose ke?!"

Suffice to say I now like my nose after seeing Michael Jackson's.Hidung beso pon takpele, asalkan I don't have to put plaster on my nose to avoid it from collapsing.

11:19 PM  
Blogger Han said...


In the interests of research, I should lend you Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk. It's a novel with real accounts of procedure in cosmetic surgery. Sounds painful. Gives you a strange respect for transvestites.

That's not to say cosmetic surgery is crap. Wouldn't it be cool to have a forked tongue?

11:35 PM  
Blogger Pantani's 2nd Cousin said...

so.... u r in market research!! ac nielsen? tns?

2:22 AM  
Blogger shell said...

It is easy for me to say just be confident of your body, but secretly, I wish I have the courage for a boob job. heh.

Half naked in front of your client. Wish I was there.. :P

2:31 AM  
Blogger A Babe Of Very Little Brain said...

ahem ... where's the pix? you've shown us the legs, remember?

2:45 AM  
Blogger Dade Ghost said...

Waaaaaaaaaaa I did not know that there have such conference!

So now we know u got birth mark! Hehehe....

3:03 AM  
Blogger modar said...

well my whole body is fucked up in several ways. i've got a hole smack middle on my chest. if you view my body sideways, it would look like i'm a bulletproof man who just took a rocket propelled grenade. like a punched-up Coke can.

still causes me fear of being shirtless until now.

3:23 AM  
Blogger The Yoga Instructor said...

I'm visualising a third nipple on you.

3:28 AM  
Blogger Pojan said...

half naked eh? Sekali sekala. takpe. Bukan aurat pon. hahahhahaha

5:23 AM  
Blogger P. Kay said...

how is it that i did not know this about you?

6:50 AM  
Blogger annabie said...

i read wrong, i thought you wrote you told some lady to take HER shirt off! dyslexic i know.

you're reading memoirs of a geisha. margaret cho did a funny ass joke on that. she's like,(in a ghetto ass accent) "no i do not want to write a memoir! what am i gon write? like.. first i wake up, then i put my make ups on, that'll make yo face all white! then i'll wear some thick ass shoes that'll hurt yer legs, hurt yer back, hurt yer neck. then i put a huge belt. then i spend the rest of the day being a ho!" haha she rocks my world.

7:22 AM  
Blogger shobshob said...

if u think of it again, nobody's perfect... sure ade je yang nak tukar..

as for me, i wanna have a better skin on my face..

8:22 AM  
Blogger aeyya said...

im still and alwiz be ur BESTFREN regardless ur physical look!!!the most imp is UR HEART ;) aye those ppl who had cosmetic surgery is a bigTime LOSER!!! rmber the sytle muddy? MegaLoaserWalkinAway*&^%

11:44 AM  
Blogger madnessinvain said...

When i was a kid, my nose looked like Keanu's, now it looks like Ghaffar Baba's. Damn. But its ok. Kurniaan tuhankan?

1:59 PM  
Blogger silent said...

birthmarks are so unique! it's definately something no one else has and damn right you should be proud!

you know that when I was a kid, all my friends used to kacau me because I had dimples and they said i was "cacat". it really made me conscious smiling. even to this day i feel embarassed when someone points out my dimples... people can be so mean without realising it sometimes.

7:15 PM  
Blogger Muddy said...

asmadi :

Cool school. Got another Muddy in the house! Muahahahah!!!

Anyway, i also wanted to change my nose (it doesnt help growing up with mat sallehs around you, with their sharp noses poking at you). but i soon grew to realise i really like my nose. its not perfect, but its mine. :)

han :

Your collection of books are astounding!!! Will pick it up if you let me borrow it. anyway, a forked tongue? what use you have for a forked tongue? wait...wait...i see. ;P

theroadie :

Hahhaahhaha...trying to the charlie brown, aren't we?

Market research? No. I am in the management consulting industry. Now, bro, try to fill in the blanks. Huhuhu..

8:13 PM  
Blogger Muddy said...

shell :

According to my research, a boob job is the most expensive of all the cosmetic surgeries there is in Malaysia. Prepare to pay around RM12,000 to RM15,000 for a quality job. That's almost a Kancil on your chest!

You wish you were there? Huhuhu...;P

the babe :

Sorry, the legs I can do, other parts of the body...well, what can I say, this is indeed a PG blog. Huhuhu...;P

dade ghost :

yes, yes, know you know i have a birthmark. just don't try to ask me to show you and the BBU team when I come over to play some bad bowling! Huhuhu...see you this weekend. :)

8:22 PM  
Blogger Muddy said...

modar :

Hey Mods, how are you? :) Wow, you got a hole-like impression in your chest? how very awesome actually? how did it happen or was it natural?

No worries about being shirtless man. I still feel iffy as well sometimes.

the yoga instructor :

a third nipple? Muahahahahah!!! no need for a third nipple babe. My nipples are fine. ;P

pojan :

yeah, sekali sekala right? so when are you going to do the same thing? :P hehehehehe...noty noty

8:29 PM  
Blogger Muddy said...

khaylis :

Perhaps its because you never seen me shirtless before lah babe. and its not something i go around telling, until now that is. next time, i will show you...mehehehehe....

annabie :

margaret cho is so awesome. havent' seen any of her acts in msian tv though. boo hoo. anyway, i just finished reading that book. its a damn good one loh. although i think, at some points of the story, sayuri was a tad pathetic. huhuhu...

shobshob :

Ooooo another skin thing. There's a lot of insights/findings i have over skin treatments. Will share with you soon.

8:33 PM  
Blogger Muddy said...

aeyya :

Muahahahahaha!!! Megaloserwalkaway! What a bunch ditzes we were. hehehe...but its still cool loh. Especially when i do the moves with you around.

*Missyoulikecrazy! Comeback!!!*

madnessinvain :

You're sure right my man! Who cares what you look like especially when you are the Mat Ayat # 1 in blog land? ;P

silent :

I love your dimples! Can't believe your kid friends said it made you look cacat. Cacat lah diaorang tuh babe...

*Sorry did not pick up the phone. Was sleeping already...*

8:37 PM  
Blogger thinktankgal said...

Love your body, your skin, your appearance and your self! Its anugerah Tuhan and all we can do is try our best to improve but if all the way for plastic surgery...errr....kinda eery if what we have already perfect kan...Have a good week ahead!

9:22 PM  
Blogger Biotress said...

I came across your blog and just wanted to let you know I enjoyed reading through it.

9:29 PM  
Blogger Han said...

"That's almost a Kancil on your chest!"


12:01 AM  
Blogger wingnut/chickquita said...

there is such a thing as a cosmetic surgery conference, as i attended the seminar myself, courtesy from the magazine CSB itself hehe. but luckily they didn't ask our opinions or experiences, though the doctors did drone about double eyelid surgery, reconstructive breast surgery, botox, fillers, teeth beautifications etc etc. its an eye opener and it's very very interesting :)

12:24 AM  
Blogger Vlad said...

OMG you're Chandler Bing?

2:47 AM  
Blogger Muddy said...

thinktankgal :

thanks babe. will try to have a good week ahead, except the fact that the haze is literally killing me though (its aggravating my sinus levels to a whole new level...damn).

biotress :

hey, thanks for dropping by! :) Glad you find my life amusing (I think...huhuhu).

han :

yeah, i think i should patent/trademark that line before Perodua gets it before me. Muahahahaha!!!

wing/chick :

Oh wow, guess what? Their my client! :) Cosmetic surgery is really interesting, when the fact that the number of people doing it in Malaysia is increasing. But don't get me wrong: its not that everyone of them is getting their nose, eyes or boobs done, it also includes superficial stuff such as laser treatments and botox. Interesting, interesting...hehehe.

vlad :

Muahahahahahhah!!! Yeah, of all the Friend's character, I do relate most with Chandler. Although my friends would always say that I am more of a Joey. Damn. Hehehe.

5:30 PM  
Blogger disco-very said...

dood! I have a large 'cloud' bithmark covering my belly... we're SO meant for each other.

6:50 PM  
Blogger Muddy said...

disco-very :

You do??? hahahaha...let's show-and-tell our tatoos one day. and yeah, we are meant to be together. ;))

9:33 PM  

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