Sunday, July 08, 2007

Define


Grounds to Play

My family will be moving into a new neighborhood soon.

Last Saturday, we visited the new house to see the contractors fix in the light fixtures in the living room and the media room. After twenty minutes of watching and scrutinizing the contractors at work, Ma sat on the staircase to read Vogue Living, while Pa stared at the garden from the balcony, probably devising a mental blueprint on where to plant the orchids. My ten-years-old brother and I, on the other hand, immediately escaped the madness by going to the playground nearby our new home.

We went straight to the swings, and we laughed as we swung higher and higher. “I’m flying to the moon!” my baby brother hollered. I laughed harder. Seconds later, I noticed my baby brother slowed down his swinging pace to watch these two small girls cycle into the playground.

Your girlfriends? I asked.

“Shut up”, my baby brother said. I laughed again.

The little girls cycled towards us and then stopped. They stared at my baby brother. They quickly glanced at each other and then cycled away. That was creepy, I thought.

Minutes later the playground was dotted with little boys and girls, and I noticed how quickly my brother ran into one of the soccer games and played. I sat on the swing, alone, and wondered whether I would make any new friends in this new neighborhood.

But honestly, I thought to myself, when was the last time I made a new friend?

Let me think.

Hmm…

You got to be kidding me.

Maybe it is my fault that I have not made a new friend lately. I am not a snob, if you are thinking that, but I have to admit that it is quite difficult now days to meet anyone new that jives with my wavelength. For example, I love to laugh. There are, however, some people who I have met recently who would say things like, “Wow, you love to laugh huh?” And the strangest part is that it sounded like it was a bad thing, like I had rabies and had peeling scabs off my face. That’s just absurd.

I love to laugh. So what. It’s my thing. So leave it the fuck alone.

Okay, perhaps this sort of attitude won’t make me new friends. But I guess I have come to a place where I feel like I do not need to resort to being a person that fits to someone else’s standard. If I want to laugh, let me be. If I want to pick my nose, you better let me be. But, if I have to act and behave according someone else’s guidelines, I rather walk out and not even bother to start the friendship in the first place.

I guess this is the reason why I hold on to my friends because they let me be me. And they have been there for me. They say “will be there” when I texted them for lunch on Sundays. They say “I am so sorry” when I tell them my brother had an asthma attack. They say “it is okay” when I tell them my heart was broken. And because of this, I consider them as my friends.

“Hey,” my baby brother said to me, with trails of sweat falling down his face. “I want to go inside for a drink. Thirsty.”

You had fun?

“Yeah he said,” as he waved to the kids at the soccer field.

Your friends?

“Yeah,” he panted.

I took his hands and we walked back to our new home, with me keeping silent that when he grows up, his definition of a friend will truly change.

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16 Comments:

Blogger RosiePosie said...

It's true that it gets more difficult to make friends as time goes by. It could be for the lack of trying but yes, I have the same problem meeting people w/ identifiable wavelengths and I just cant be arsed with those I can't click with.

Unlike high school where friends are a dime a dozen, my circle of friends is significantly smaller in comparison these days.

Regardless, I much prefer how it is now as you know who your true friends are - those who stick through the good and the bad & love you for who you are.

10:51 PM  
Blogger pugly said...

I love to laugh, & I love to hear people laugh.

Go on, sms me for a lunch date. I'll be your fwen :-P

1:06 AM  
Blogger k-k-khaylis said...

agree that it's difficult in our increasingly discerning and judgemental twenties to make new friends.

its so easy to write off / bitch about new people, solely on a shallow premise, but only behind their backs, of course (like i said, this is why we are BFF) :D

write more!!

1:28 AM  
Blogger Blabarella said...

Looks like everyone seems to be able to relate to the fact that it gets more difficult to make "real" friends as we get older. Sometimes even new environs don't cut it, like me here in Egypt. I get lots of "hee hee ha ha" friends, but they aren't the ones I'll look to when I just want to be me.

So as a result, my circle gets smaller and smaller - I only have one true bosom friend here, and she's leaving Egypt. It's too exhausting to look for another. Thank God for email, so that I still get my dose of "real friends" from back home, and I can't wait to meet up with them soon!

Glad you're posting again, and happy settling in the new house!

4:47 AM  
Blogger Sempre Libera said...

I think finding, and holding on to, real, good friends has been one of the hardest parts of growing up.

The upside is that when you do find them, these relationships are that much more gratifying.

Good luck in your new surroundings!

8:47 AM  
Blogger mz ayam said...

friends - they come and go but with a precious few you should hold on!
selamat berpindah.

8:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Muddy,

Yeah better not coz u got an old friend here who u owe several emails ! btw its very good to laugh it makes u younger n happier n brings in positive aura.

I mean how many of us wanna be sour puss posh spice's friend ? I'd rather have u anytime provided u start keeping in touch with me !!!!

xoxo

5:50 AM  
Blogger farah-the-chocoholic said...

I like to laugh too. It cleanse your soul from sorrow.

Welcome back, muddy...

8:11 PM  
Anonymous tellmewhyidontlikemondays said...

as you age & mature (ahem!), your take on friendship & friends differ. been going through new level of friendship myself. sgt confusing.

8:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hehe!! but u are a snob. *just KIDDING okay!!!* I know what u mean. Have been at this place for 4 months now but it's still so difficult. I like to laugh out loud too but try doing that in my department - they'll shush me down. But then again, i think after 30 years of living i've build certain walls. Even when someone might mean well - and perhaps within the same bandwith, I'd take my time. Dem! I'm always so full of contradictions. No wonder takde kawan. muahahaha!

and just in case i did once asked u (on laughing) it's out of awe and perhaps a lil bit of envy coz i can always here you lot down the corridor. I think people are pleasantly suprise when they say "wow" :)

1:54 AM  
Blogger Muddy said...

rosieposie :

my set of bestfriends compose mostly of highschool friends. i love them to bits; can't imagine life without them.

pugly :

hahaha you haven't heard me laugh yet, perhaps i should give you a warning. kekeke. ;)

khaylis :

we are BFF!!! btw, we need to celebrate Pirate Han's bday this weekend. Breakfast, lunch, dinner?

5:03 PM  
Blogger Muddy said...

blabarella :

i totally get you with the "ha ha he he" sort of friends. great to have, but not so great when you want to talk about your inner core without feeling judged or insecure. am glad you have your circle of true friends; they are the best. :)

sempre libre :

i realised that it one must make an effort to keep in touch in order to truly sustain friendships. there are, however, surprises when you have not met your friend for ages and when you do, it is still the same. however, it does surprise you to the core when you realise you have missed much as well...

thanks for dropping by. :)

mz ayam :

terima kasih. moving is hell, i hate packing and worse, un-packing.

5:11 PM  
Blogger Muddy said...

anon :

hello softball player. when oh when were you a sports player? kekeke looking good on the field, glad that you are making good friends as per your smiling group picture. when are you coming back to kl?

farah :

welcome to the laughing club then. :) and thanks.

tellme :

i realise alot of my definitions have changed when we grow up. what is right may no longer necessarily be right. what is wrong may no longer necessarily be wrong. this is all due to experiences, and that is what matters most. :)

5:14 PM  
Blogger Muddy said...

anon :

i cant believe you are like working on the same floor. still feeling very weird about it. hehehe. :)

5:15 PM  
Blogger Theta said...

People who question trivial stuffs like 'Why are you laughing so hard", etc, are envious because they are not able to do the same.
Or that, they can't let go of their inhibitions as easily as you do.

Friends come and go. Either you or the friend change his/her color, or some trust issues crop up or misunderstanding ensues.

Only those who understand 'the real you' and may I add, willing to forgive your lack of judgment, will stand by your side.

Take care!

4:15 AM  
Anonymous aeyya said...

hey P*p*xxx

hmmmm we had a long talked bout it right ;) its a matter of time, and i must said WE'VE BEEN IN THE COMFORT ZONE OF US SO LONG! anddd we HAPPY on that...so??be YOURSELF
coz u'r ma besfren for what you are!

take care dear...SOON MINUM2 kay

9:28 PM  

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