Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Reality Bites


Dringggggggggggggggg!!!

What???

That was the first thought in my head. And I think I also said it aloud. Because at that moment, in the middle of opening the refrigerator to get a can of Coke, my mom told me that my brother was getting married. And all I could say was…

What???

“Yeah,” she said, while sitting down by the kitchen table. “He called me this morning to tell me about it.”

It caught me by surprise how calm my mom sounded. And???

“He’s really serious. He wants to get married.”

It only took me seconds to climb back to my room, grab my cellphone, dialed his number and hollored, you’re getting married???

“Yeah,” my brother said, while giggling in between. “Next year.”

After twenty minutes of talking to my brother, and then realizing how serious he was, I told him catch you later and then I just sat there. On my bed. Feeling completely, I dunno, just empty-headed. As if all my brain cells have gathered, voted and agreed to commit mass suicide, there and then, and so to leave me sitting there, mutating, into a freaking sayur.

I then just collapsed on my bed, breathed, hugged a pillow, and had my mind racing into thoughts like, where was I when I was nineteen? Where was I???

At nineteen, I was still a freshman in college. At nineteen, I was partying until the sun came up. At nineteen, I was just horny. But my brother, at nineteen, he wants to get married?

God.

Even at twenty-five, I am no where close to that…

God!

Where am I at twenty-five???

For some reason, as I hugged my pillow tighter, I felt inadequate, Under-achieved. No where close to the level of maturity my younger brother seemed to have. Ok, perhaps he is not as mature, but come on. I have never been certain about anything THAT huge. And there he is now, at nineteen, so certain about getting married.

And here I was, at twenty-five.

19 Comments:

Blogger 9 said...

my only advice to u is don't worry abt it that much. no commitments. no responsibilites & ur money is urs to spend for urself.

enjoy life.

9:38 PM  
Blogger pugly said...

Well, to answer your question, at 25, you're working at a hugely-successful multi-billion corporation, living it large, has one helluva kick-ass blog & one helluva pugly stalker! I'd say you're doing rather well :-)

Is this your DJ brother? Well, I guess when it feels right & you're all set, nothing else really matters.

As for you, young man, you can start whining when you reach my age :-)

10:09 PM  
Blogger princesswaffzonkle said...

ok. i'll marry you ;P but u must promise not to hug that pillow anymore. it is salah.

12:57 AM  
Anonymous beddy said...

well i think when u'r ready age is just numbers,no?
but then again...WOA!

2:02 AM  
Blogger ailin...in aalborg said...

ok, ok. Be keewwllll..... Sabar, sabar, my dear horny muddy.

So, the wedding is next year eh? We still got time. I will now be your best pal. I know all the tricks and "buat muka dek" and "kasi back-bite remarks" about braving all the comments and sarcastic remarks THAT YOU WILL GET about getting "langkah-ed bendul".

As I said, we still got time, my dear.

3:33 AM  
Blogger shobshob said...

damn that was really unexpected! i don't think i'm even ready to get married now that i'm 26! huhu..

luckily i don't have any other younger siblings.. so no langkah bendul for me, but my family do asked me "biler nak kawin? biler nak .... "

damn.

8:36 AM  
Blogger The Yoga Instructor said...

On completely different notes of age and the big M;

how was it possible
- that I've always thought you are 27 (and of 2 if not 3 years my senior at uni)
- and that you got the wrong N that got married. Sampai boleh cakap, "Sampai hati she didn't invite me..". He hee.. Lawak lah you!

9:43 AM  
Blogger Shopper Mom said...

19??? that's pretty young huh, but who am i to say anything. if he feels ready for it, by all means.

as for u, don't fret. 25 is still a young age for a guy to get married (although my hubby was 25 when we got our first baby..*chuckle*).

in the meantime enjoy ur single and carefree life to the max. marriage is a whole different ballgame.

6:17 PM  
Blogger 9 said...

pricesswaffleiron:
wei, u offer kat muddy je? tanak kawan! merajuk la camni. :(

7:31 PM  
Blogger Muddy said...

9 :

hahaha true. but a portion of my salary has also been shared shared at the moment, so no big difference actually. kekek.

pugly :

oooo thanks for reminding me. when you have a stalker, that's when you REALLY know you made it. ;)

yeah, its my VJ brother. so proud of him...

hahaha i whine at any age dear, trust me. ;P

princess :

hahaha sure, lets get married. on the condition that you and i go kareoke every other month. ;P and leave my bantal busuk alone. kesian dia. kekeke.

8:26 PM  
Blogger Muddy said...

beddy :

age is only just a number if the person is indeed mature enough to handle big commitments. age should never barracade you from going for the distance, but it should not also make you feel pompous. respect. ;)

ailin :

oh dear, please please please be my publicist. i hope you dont charge a bomb, cause all i can afford is rendang and kuih dodol. kekeke. ;)

shobshob :

woi, org terganu, bila ko nak kahwin???!!! kekeke.

8:29 PM  
Blogger Muddy said...

yoga :

1) haiyoh, aku nampak tua sangat ke???!!!

2) hahaha yeah, you know me. but seriously, she should have invited me. kekek. ;P

shoppermom :

woohoo, at 25 and have a kid already. much props to your hubby!

yeah, i know its a whole new ballgame. hopefully i get to play on the field soon though. kekeke.

9 :

wah wah wah, camtu ke bro? kekeke. :D

8:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Life is not about getting married and having kids that is certainly not lifes goal. Im not into following societies script plus I do think its a huge commitment and some people get married for the wrong reasons for example : During euphoaria period where all you think all the nagging is because s/he lovew me ahhhh or after a long long period of dating thinking that its a natural progression of thinking that it will save your relationship. Of course the theory above has nothing to do with your bro but really Muddy feel proud ! I do ! Im the only female cousin at my age (which is still very very young by western stds) still with no engagement, plans or married with kids and i love defying society. Tho im happy for your bro (no names) I think that he is still young and he need to do all the things you mentioned at 19 . But then again pls make sure its during Feb or March so I can wear all my sexy sexy baju kebaya since I have no chance at all to wear them.

3:41 AM  
Blogger Inn said...

wow. gud for him. im 29!!! and where am i? the reason why i want to be away this year hitting tat number. 29 and where am i? at the moment enjoying my time alone in bali. thanks for the birthday wish mudster.

my congratulations to ur bro and the lucky lady :)

7:02 AM  
Blogger Vlad said...

Where am I?

Sitting in my room leveling up my character. Either that or drinking somewhere.

Wait, where the fuck am I? It's so dark in here, and who the hell strapped me?

8:14 PM  
Blogger Muddy said...

anon :

babe, you always have a strong point to share. and you are quite right as well. :) i do feel proud of where i am standing; perhaps these things do take time for me. huhu.

inn :

babe, do enjoy bali!!! its such a fantastic place; had the best week there and still can't stop thinking about it. make sure you visit all the touristy place, especially ubud.

vlad :

hahahah!!!

5:54 PM  
Blogger Blabs said...

Your brother must be pretty sure of himself and pretty matured to believe that he is ready to be married at 19. Wow. And your parents are okay with this? Kewl..

And Muds, at 25, you've achieved way way more than most people did at your age (from what I've read on your blog la), so give yerself a huge pat on the back!

9:18 AM  
Blogger Muddy said...

blabs :

yeah, my parents are very cool about it, however, they have set some conditions which my brother needs to fulfill before da day. kekeke.

oh thanks babe, your praises made my day! :))

9:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

tell aiman i said congrats

11:56 AM  

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