Reality Bites

Dringggggggggggggggg!!!

What???

That was the first thought in my head. And I think I also said it aloud. Because at that moment, in the middle of opening the refrigerator to get a can of Coke, my mom told me that my brother was getting married. And all I could say was…

What???

“Yeah,” she said, while sitting down by the kitchen table. “He called me this morning to tell me about it.”

It caught me by surprise how calm my mom sounded. And???

“He’s really serious. He wants to get married.”

It only took me seconds to climb back to my room, grab my cellphone, dialed his number and hollored, you’re getting married???

“Yeah,” my brother said, while giggling in between. “Next year.”

After twenty minutes of talking to my brother, and then realizing how serious he was, I told him catch you later and then I just sat there. On my bed. Feeling completely, I dunno, just empty-headed. As if all my brain cells have gathered, voted and agreed to commit mass suicide, there and then, and so to leave me sitting there, mutating, into a freaking sayur.

I then just collapsed on my bed, breathed, hugged a pillow, and had my mind racing into thoughts like, where was I when I was nineteen? Where was I???

At nineteen, I was still a freshman in college. At nineteen, I was partying until the sun came up. At nineteen, I was just horny. But my brother, at nineteen, he wants to get married?

God.

Even at twenty-five, I am no where close to that…

God!

Where am I at twenty-five???

For some reason, as I hugged my pillow tighter, I felt inadequate, Under-achieved. No where close to the level of maturity my younger brother seemed to have. Ok, perhaps he is not as mature, but come on. I have never been certain about anything THAT huge. And there he is now, at nineteen, so certain about getting married.

And here I was, at twenty-five.