Thursday, July 27, 2006

Drive Carefully


Keep on Running

One of my favorite bloggers commented that I should “[s]top working so hard!”, and when I read that, I went numb. For some reason, it was completely awkward to hear that because all I have been hearing from my environment was to push and to push for results. I have indeed become so goal-oriented, so completely mad over work that I have become one of those people that constantly think about what was said in a meeting or developing key recommendations in their minds, even when dear-dear friends are talking to them.

“So what do you think?”

What?

“You weren’t listening, were you?”

Sorry, I was just thinking about work.

“I hate it when you do that.”

It makes me wonder whether my drive and determination to succeed at my job has gotten me speeding down the career highway without ever appreciating my surroundings at all – the trees, the people, and the homes. The funny thing is that I am not sure whether it is a problem, because I love how my life is going. My friendships with my comrades are undeniable. My finances are in control. My family is still the best thing in my life. The only thing that I have been worrying over is my health.

(My back is still killing me.)

It has since April, and the nerves starting from my back all the way down to my left feet feels painful, every second I wake up, every minute I drive my car, every hour I am at my cubicle. I try to keep my mind busy and distracted from the pain, but when I do sit down for a breather, the pain just keeps reminding me that “hey, you are not as strong as you think.” And I cannot bear that.

So doctor, what’s wrong with me?

“It’s obvious that it’s a slip disk and although your condition has 60 percent improved, you are still 40 percent away from being completely cured.”

So what now?

“You have to do an MRI scan. We will see if you need to do surgery.”

When I was waiting for my turn at the clinic’s sitting area to get more packets of painkillers, I thought to myself that all my hopes and dreams can easily crumble down because of my health. And I hope, my dear readers, you understand this because I have, the hard way.

20 Comments:

Anonymous TGB said...

we totally understand that you are in pain, bro! but then again, you remember sophie's world? yeah, i mean... take your time to stop and look at the old big tree! :p yes, of course we are all into work and constantly thinking about it! we are some dedicated working personnel, but never forget to take a breath of fresh air! :p and come to the party on saturday! *grin*! hehehe! see ya dude!

9:36 PM  
Blogger pugly said...

The rule of thumb is to work hard & play hard :-)

11:24 PM  
Blogger Freak & Geek said...

u'd better get it treated FAST.

it's ok to be very ambitious in life, dude.. but come to think of it, izzit worth it when u r draining ur health along the way?

go figure!

take care.. and have a lovely w/e!

11:33 PM  
Blogger ailin...in aalborg said...

muddy, try a physiotherapist first lah. I did that, and avoided surgery altogether. Of course, the bill was a bomb, but well worth it.

the brand STOKKE also makes a fabulous chair for people with backpain. I've tried it before. It's really good, better than any office chair's you'll find in Malaysia. Try to get it imported.

4:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Muddy if at all anyones health would be their downfall it would had been me but I defy things and if u do that in your mind more then half the battle is won.

Its true how some people say thet you can bring your self to death. I totally agree. Block it out. Positive thinking. Everyone has cancer cells its matter if you activate them or not. I know you dont have cencer but its an example.

Stress can trigger many things. eat healthy , water water water esp with painkillers.Maybe your diet needs change. I have change alot of my eating habits and have seen the fruits of success.

Go see the accupunturist i told u abt. No one whould have believed me when I told them I had cholestrol last year despite being a regular at the gym. I managed to bring it down to normal after eating right , nuts and green tea in only 6 months.

Always remember your health is your investment. rather use the time n money to see the world so make a conscious effort. I care abt u so pls get well ! and be ready n steady for my next visit.

5:39 AM  
Anonymous khaylis said...

hey babe, it seems like you're really really into your work, which is good, am happy for you, even though we don't see each other as often now!!! :(

but we see each other tomorrow for pirate han's bday, right? lots of catching up to do. good to see you're blogging again :)

9:38 AM  
Blogger Muddy said...

tgb :

yeah, i am beginning to appreciate more what surrounds me. thanks for the reminder. :)

the party was great, definitely fun, especially the item hunt game. amazes me how you can always pull off a great party. you should start a career in it man.

pugly :

hahaha yeah, am reminded. but need to fix my back first before i roll and tumble, and shake my bons bons again. kekekeke ;P

freak and geek :

thanks for the advice. as we speak, i will be going to sjmc later this evening to get my spine/nerves scanned. the doctor said they are most concerned with my nerves that seems to be causing the most pain...

and i had a lovely weekend. :) so thanks!

5:16 PM  
Blogger Muddy said...

ailin :

hey, good to hear from you again. :) thanks for the advice. actually, i have been perscribed to go for physiotherapy sessions, and out of eight, i only was able to go for four. my work schedule just did not allow me the free time to heal, so i guess i am feeling the pain because of it.

but am sticking on my guns that I don't think i need surgery. i rather do alternative stuff before opting for knife. huhu...

the chair sounds wonderful! will definitely consider, thanks. :)

anon :

oh babe, thanks for caring! thanks for the advice as well, and yeah, i am definitely and surely seeking treatment for it. just to let you know that my condition has improved, but just not fast enough. i guess its my own fault that its not healing fast because i have been skipping my therapy sessions because of work. but ain't doing that anymore...

when are you coming back to kl babe? :))

khaylis :

hey babe, you look so good lately. and i know exactly why. ;)

we have to meet up more than just once a week. need more dirt from you!!! huhuhu...and yeah, my writing bug bit me again. but the whole blogging experience ain't the same without you around. miss your blog as well. huhu.

5:24 PM  
Blogger The Yoga Instructor said...

Don't worsen your condition with sitting / driving / sleeping in wrong postures and doing too much weights in the gym since your back is taking its toll.

Word. YO-GA, Muddy. And you know you can always call your little instructor friend :)

11:53 PM  
Blogger The Yoga Instructor said...

Amboiiii, laju je call. He hee..

It's good to hear your voice again and I want more! We do that soon, for sure. You help me correct my singing, I'll help correct your spine. You take care for now.

12:11 AM  
Blogger shobshob said...

no matter how hard you work, always remember to take a little time to appreciate your surroundings.. don't forget to have more fun as well! :)

7:46 AM  
Blogger Muddy said...

yoga :

hahaha sorry to shock you when i called you up. but i am in desperate need to fix my back problem fast because its been too long! if yoga can help as you suggested, than i know you are the best person to refer to. :)

the kareoke session is overdue!!! one sweeeet dayyyyy!!!

shob :

i am man! always stuffing myself with fun (as in pavlova and anything along those lines...kekeke)

6:15 PM  
Blogger Shopper Mom said...

take care u. u don't wanna end up being high up on the corporate pyramid but having no time to enjoy ur youth. :)

6:16 PM  
Blogger aeyya said...

rily bad hhuh ur back? well sorry to hear that..so long never update each other...dun wory ull be fine soon...

juz take a good care of urself mate!

9:21 PM  
Blogger RosiePosie said...

hey babe,

Just a little something I read awhile back from a book by Nicholas Sparks:

'Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling five balls in the air. You name them - work, family, health, friends and spirit - and you're keeping all of these in the air.

You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered.

They will never be the same. Understand this and strive for balance in your life'

How lovely, don't you think?

10:42 PM  
Blogger Blabs said...

Yep, all the wealth and success in the world won't matter much if the health is poor and painful. You're still young, so you can still fix it. Take care of your health from now on! And oh yeah, leave work at the office at the end of the day - always!!

Btw, I too, suffered from a bad lower back injury last year (work-inflicted, of course) and it became unbearable. Went to see specialist, got an MRI done, found out one of my lower lumbar disks was swollen and bulging so the doctor prescribed TEN days in hospital, and I couldn't even sit up on the hospital bed. It was just 10 days of lying down, getting up only to bathe, go to the loo, have meals (in reclined mode) and physio. But seriously - since then, Alhamdulillah, the pain's been kept at bay. The quick fix for lower back injuries is apparently LOTS of rest (lying flat on our backs) and physio. Without that, it's hard for the injury to heal, especially when we're at work.

So for a workaholic like you, bring your work to the hospital, like I did (a bit laa, not much) and work from the hospital bed. :D

Get that back healed!!

7:40 AM  
Blogger Muddy said...

shopper mom :

thank you for the advice and reminder. :) sometimes you really do need a third party to give you some real perspective in your head. sigh...my youth, still got it. hahaha...

aeyya :

we have to chill, whatever it is, dinner, lunch or just drinks; need to chill!!! :)

rosie posie :

when i read that quote, it sent shivers throughout my spine, and pun intended. ;P it's true: health, family, friends and spirit are really precious elements in our lives, and are incredibly necessary. once dropped, they can be slightly damaged. huhu...i just hope i can recover from this bad back though...huhu.

5:06 PM  
Blogger Muddy said...

blabs :

i just recently got my mri scan and the results are eerily similar to yours! one of my lower disks is incredibly swollen, therefore causing pain throughout my left leg. my doctor told me the fastest way to recover is through a minimally evasive surgery, where they would scrape off the broken specs of disks and insert some gell (i think) in between. it sounds PAINFUL!

i told my doctor that i rather still go for the physiotherapy and see what happens. the last time i was on it, i was not sticking to the schedule because i was outstation and all, so out of 6 perscribed, i only went to three. so shame on me lah.

this time around i wanna go all the way. the rest thing sounds good and sounds like the best way to heal. your testimony proves it. i am unsure whether i can disappear from the office that long though (and i have never been good with "homework").

hmmm i am a planner. i should figure this one out. hehehe...

once again, thanks for the advice!

5:14 PM  
Blogger Blabs said...

Boleh, boleh, you boleh do it!! But you MUST get yourself admitted, otherwise it ain't gonna heal as fast as it should (especially if you're trying to avoid surgery). Take good care now!

9:17 AM  
Blogger Muddy said...

blabs :

thanks for the encouragement. need it desperately at this point. huhuhu. cheers. :)

5:58 PM  

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