Monday, April 18, 2005

Breakfast Secrets


Quiet

This morning, while I was eating cold cereal, my mom walked quietly towards me, sat down at the kitchen table and whispered, "I have to talk to you."

She first looked over her shoulders as if to check whether the coast was clear. It was obvious that whatever she wanted to tell me, she did not want Pa to hear. As I continued munching on CoCo Crunch, I realised that Ma was telling me a family secret:

"Your Aunt L married this guy when she was a teenager. She had a son with him. When the marriage did not work, she and her husband gave that kid away. Now, her son, at 30 years old, is looking for her."

I did not know what to say. All I continued hearing was that my aunt did not want to meet with him, fearing that it would have negative implications towards her new, 3- years-old marriage.

"But A'cho has met him," she continued whispering. "She said that he looked a lot like your brother Wari."

As I finished my breakfast, assured Ma that I won't tell Pa, walked out of the house and drove in my Waja to work, I kept on thinking about the possibility of meeting a new cousin. And despite whatever my Aunt wanted or didn't want to do, I wanted to know who he is. Where he has been. What he is like. And eventually, to welcome him to the family.

14 Comments:

Blogger random-girl said...

i know what you mean.

family secrets. i have too many. the curiosity just bugs ya.

9:51 PM  
Blogger Muddy said...

random-girl :

the thing about this situation is that it is reflective of my family: my youngest brother is adopted. He is 8 years old right now, but imagine if he knew later on and wanted to know his real parents? if that did happen, as his brother, i will do whatever it takes for him to find out...

10:11 PM  
Blogger Pantani's 2nd Cousin said...

my grandpa used to say, be careful when walking on slippery ground.

10:53 PM  
Blogger Muddy said...

theroadie :

true, but if you do slip, you can always pick yourself up and walk again. :)

and when will I perform again? don't know, but will update you pal...

12:31 AM  
Blogger random-girl said...

i see.

just a story to share...

i had a friend who was adopted and during 2nd year at varsity she started looking for her dad (she knew who her mum was). She found him, and it just so happened that he had started to look for her too that year. As fate would have it (this is the freaky part) they met once or twice, had a grand time, and then he was suddenly killed in a tragic docking accident. She found her dad, lost her dad, but suddenly gained a whole new family too. Her new brothers and sister welcomed her (in her adopted family she had no siblings, so this was new to her), and just last year, she proudly announced that her new found sister just had a baby and she was now a proud auntie.

life has a way.

3:25 AM  
Blogger Elina said...

wow - must be an exciting prospect, waiting to welcome a new family addition.

you perform? tell, tell...want to watch/listen...will be back in KL for a week soon.

6:44 AM  
Blogger mangolisa said...

yes pick yourself up quickly, dust your bums and get all the dettol, bandages, elastoplasts ready hell get the orthopedics ready too - you never know how deep you fall and what kind of things might be trampling all over you ;-)
Tread carefully, sweetie... ibarat peribahasa Melayu - apabila manarik rambut di dalam tepung - rambut jangan putus, tepugn jangan berderai...
kalau putus dan berderai jugak... USE ALL THE PROFANITIES!

4:24 PM  
Blogger Muddy said...

random-girl :

wow, that is the thing i realised most about my "new cousin" and what happened to your friend...it is like not only would he meet his blood mother, he would also be meeting a whole new network of family! however, if my aunt won't meet up with him, i just hope that he knows that there are those who do...

5:37 PM  
Blogger Muddy said...

elina :

yeah, it is! my mom's side of the family is quite small, so the thought that there is a possibility of an extention is down-right exciting.

and about the performance thing: no worries, will update you the next time. :)

mangolisa :

at first, i did not know exactly what the big deal is if i wanted to meet up with him. but i guess now, after some thought, that i must also consider my aunt's feelings. she must be feeling scared, confused, and from the sound of things, she is really not prepared to face him.

i mean, how would it feel to meet up with the son you gave away. it is not something we know how to deal on an everyday basis...

5:50 PM  
Blogger nais said...

ahh family secrets. can be freaky. for example, my cousin discovered she actually had a twin sister. Noone knew (well, except for her parents)until she was about to get married.

all the best, muddy :):)

6:56 AM  
Blogger Muddy said...

nais :

wow, so where was the twin sister all this while? hmmm....

anyway, thanks babe. will update you on this saga soon...

6:37 PM  
Blogger shobshob said...

i also have a cousin that was adopted, but she still doesn't know about it... i'm sure that it must be really hard for both the person and the parents to deal with the whole "jejak kasih" situation..

3:31 AM  
Blogger Han said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:40 AM  
Blogger QingHai said...

Hi Muddy, it was fun to read your journal..and it was excited to find out you are a Malaysian. I miss Malaysia very much...

2:04 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home