Monday, January 02, 2006

Model Behavior

She's a Bad Girl

Post mind-blowing New Years’ eve celebration at Westin in the morning and post scrumptious-buffet at The Shangri-La with family in the afternoon, I went to a birthday party at night. However, this is no ordinary party.

The thing is, The Birthday Girl is famous for conjuring up themes for her parties, and for Jan 1, 2006, it was Hollywood Glamour. Determined that everyone stick to the theme like glue, she called me five hours before her party and threatened that if I did not dress like Oscar material or at least MTV Awards, she would slaughter me and feed my carcass to her cats. Damn. So I did, and felt like a complete pimp in my Tom Ford inspired gear (minus the two blond Russian girls in short, red kimonos by my arms though). Double damn.

When I arrived at the hotel room and surprisingly strolled down an actual red carpet, The Birthday Girl immediately greeted me, kissed me on the cheek and pulled me to the balcony. There she said, “Muddy, meet Ash. This is the guy I was talking about.” Oh, THIS is Ash, I thought. THIS is the guy that The Birthday Girl swooned all over YM. THIS is the guy that the other girls in the party whispered about, and their respective boyfriends booed against. And all of this is happening because he is a model.

As I listened to the flirtatious conversation between The Birthday Girl and Ash, I could not help but ask myself: why are we obsessed with models?

It is because they are hot, stupid!

Yes, honest-to-the-core speaking, the model industry is the only industry where you know your colleagues are a hundred percent guaranteed girl or boy babe. Models are also society’s definition of what it means to be physically beautiful, and for this odd reason, they are credited to be almost superior against everybody else. They are sexier. They flock among glamorous people. They lead exciting social lives. They even smell better. Hence, by perception, they are almost untouchables, so it makes perfect sense that the majority of us mortals fawn and secretly dying to date them. Shallow but true.

For example, despite my busy schedule, I have been going home early every Monday to go watch two episodes, back to back, of America’s Next Top Model. Besides the obvious reason of the joy of watching hot women dress in almost nothing in every episode (tee hee), it is interesting to go watch and understand how models behave. After watching the show, I was quite surprised that these women actually have feelings. I have always thought that extremely beautiful women, especially the ones in KL and what more models, are nothing more than money-sucking vampires.

So, a thousand apologies on my side. Because the truth is, I have friends who are dating models or even models themselves, and they are the nicest people I know. I even give tremendous credit to one of them for building my self-confidence. For example, walking into a club or even in a crowded boardroom used to make me nervous. Then one day, a model friend gave me some advice. “Just remember that everybody out there wants to fuck you.” Now, whenever I feel that same nervous feeling, I repeat that to myself and smile. Everybody wants to fuck me. Everybody wants to fuck me…

So, it’s settled. Models are after all human, but are blessed with better genes. But despite that some may come across as bitches or, for the male counterparts, mere meat that are just good for sex, there are models out there that are intelligent, caring and cultured babes. But, where are they? Where do they hang out? And most importantly, how the hell do you attract them?

According to Sky magazine, one of the safest options to get attention from a model is to ignore them. The illusion is to make it look like you haven’t noticed them at all, until you happen to be standing right next to them at the bar. The magazine also advised that it is important to take the target’s looks on the side, treat them normally and they’ll be intrigued. Be confident but not cocky. And most importantly, once they tell you that they’re a model, act slightly surprised.

I called up a model friend of mine and asked, is this all true? Is this what it takes to go date a model? She said, “Just be yourself lah Muddy. You got the goods.”

I wasn’t sure what she meant by my goods. But hey, if she said I got it, I got it. Because after all, I can’t argue against the advice of a model, can I?


Blogger disco-very said...

geez, muddy. to say that you have the goods is an understatement. *purr*

i know a few friends who happen to be models. although it's a bit strange how all the other models i meet seem a bit off-ish...

btw, what's up with me being linked as 'our hot model'??? 0_o

5:58 PM  
Blogger 9 said...

it's being a celebrity, innit? models are chosen for their looks so it is logical for the public to go ga-ga over them.

i go ga-ga over amber chia.

7:47 PM  
Blogger Rostam Effendi said...

So, when u going to introduce me to your new model gf?? Hehehe... get one that makes u happy, model or not la....

I love model motorbikes....

10:20 PM  
Blogger shobshob said...

you're a mooooodel~~~ ! :)

1:55 AM  
Blogger RosiePosie said...

well, hey, any guy who's inspired by tom ford deserves a model hanging off his arm, dont ya think? ;)

2:33 AM  
Blogger mangolisa said...

don't know about malaysian models... but HIDUP KATE MOSS!!!

Happy New Year, Babes!

2:57 AM  
Blogger MarinaDelRey said...

i used to scorn America's Top Models until I started watching it and got addicted! Happy New Year Muds!

7:20 PM  
Blogger The Yoga Instructor said...

This reminds me of an SATC episode from earlier season about men who only date models. One of them (or modelizers as labelled by Carrie) quoted, "Why fuck any girl in skirts when you can fuck the girl in the ad for the skirt?" and "Models have brains, they just don't have to use 'em!"

Ha haa..

6:10 AM  
Blogger *Splash* said...

modest modest modest mudcake :p
Bonne Annee :)

6:29 AM  
Blogger KaiserSoze said...

Ah models...they tend to get genralised a fair bit..just like approach to life is simple...look beyond what people do for a living, look at their casual-self (p/s: I confess i lead a dual life, people who knows me professionally will hardly "recognise" me "off-duty")

4:07 PM  
Blogger Pesa said...

Everyone is a sucker for attention and ego booster i guess...who wouldn't want to get that kind of attention right? okay...maybe not everyone but definately most people...

4:57 PM  
Blogger Myopia said...

hey I agree with marinadelrey, love america's next top model. followed it from season 1-5. i think it kinda sheds the idea of models being stiff, they're human too.

and i don't think you'd have a problem with bagging one either, any man who looks into tom ford (for gucci especially) would score 1000 points in their books!

5:09 PM  
Blogger kudo said...

happy new year to you too!

12:04 AM  
Blogger lin said...

your baby bro looks like a model..altho he is slightly on the short side..but he does have the looks..
i wonder how u look like.. :P

5:24 PM  
Blogger yanz said...

hey friend, long time no commenting here. models? hmmmmm betcha u can bag one (hundred) of them anytime u want. u've got the 'goods'. hahahahahahahahahah!

Happy New Year muds!

6:59 PM  
Blogger kepala_angin said...

"..everyone wants to fuck me..", oo, that's why some on them have those sneering looks. hehehe..

11:14 PM  
Blogger Sports Freak said...

I guess in the end everyone is human. I personnally had gone out with 2 models during my past life (when i was single). They were 2 very different people.

One was nice, pleasant and an all round good person. The type Mom would be proud you bring home.. The other fits the 'model streotype' perfectly.

The funny thing is the nice one eventually became Miss XXX and represented her country in a World pageant. (She wasnt Malaysian)So you can be nice and beautiful at the same time.

12:30 AM  
Blogger [Is]landa said...

Just remember that everybody out there wants to fuck you.----so muddy, can i have a look at your goods? ;P

4:05 AM  
Blogger Muddy said...

discovery :

hahaha...*purr* back at cha. ;P and yes, you are one sizzling model babe. register it, embrace it, live it. huhuhu...

9 :

yes, the more famous models do snag themselves the celebrity label. but even the not-so-famous models are sometimes ga-ga over. kekeke...

rostam :

hahaha...what model gf? if i had one in my pockets, i would sure introduce. but in the meantime, got not nothin' to show. huhuhu...

5:03 PM  
Blogger Muddy said...

shob shob :

that is soooooo last year! kekeke...

rosie posie :

hahaha...yeah, tom ford is one style guru. love it when the ladies deck in his creations...yummy. ;) and yeah, thanks for visiting my blog. anyone who enjoys reading "the lovely bones" is highly welcomed here. ;))

mangolisa :

HIDUP KATE MOSS!!! You know, I seriously don't understand the big hoo haa against kate moss recently. Yes, she did cocaine, but what rich supermodel doesn't??? But am glad that she's cleaning her system: don't want a hot babe like her to go kapish before her actual golden years...

5:12 PM  
Blogger Muddy said...

marinadelray :

hahaha...yeah, am addicted to it as well. and big news: the new cycle is coming up. i checked up the website and the winner is FINE!!! (the new cycle starts on jan 16 on channel v) ;P

the yoga instructor :

hahaha...that's hilarious! kind of miss that show as well...huhuhu...and my revised version of that quote would be: "why fuck any girl with great hair when you can fuck the girl in the ad for great hair?". hint hint: sunsilk/pantene. kekeke...

splash :

cute cute cute splash! ;) bonne annee to you too!!!

5:17 PM  
Blogger Muddy said...

kaisersoze :

ah, the flight attendents are a whole new ballgame in itself! hahah...and what is this? different persona apres work? kekeke...won't be surprised if sifu sports a mohawk during the weekend. live it up! ;P

pesa :

yeah, a beautiful woman by your arms is definitely an ego booster, especially when they are a model. this is shamelessly, shamelessly true. ;P

myopia :

you're the second one to note that! I guess emulating tom ford's style is a sure plus for me then. (hooray hooray!) but at times, i try to be as street cool as pharell. that dude got style!

and yeah, thanks for dropping by! (and yeah, that monkey picture is really cute lah...kekeke)

5:22 PM  
Blogger Muddy said...

kudo :

selamat hari raya! :)

lin : bro and i look alot similar. although he is more street, and i am more "corporate" looking, according to a blogger i met. ;P and hey, i am also on the shorter side and am damn proud of it. ;)

yanz :

hahahah...hundreds of models? haiyoh sounds a bit scary for me. satu dah cukup lah babe. ;P hey, selamat hari raya to you and hubby!

5:41 PM  
Blogger Muddy said...

kepala angin :

hahahah...are you telling me i am sneering as well? kekeke...*sneer* *sneer*...;P

sports freak :

oh DUDE! Wow, what a history you got there. That lovely lass you snagged sounds incredibly beautiful. I wonder where she came from (Brazil? Colombia? Peurto Rico???) kekeke...

Ylanda : goods stay within my protection. You can perhaps see, but no touch touch k? hahahha...;P

5:45 PM  
Blogger Halva said...

Hahahaha v entertaining. And good luck in your finding your model woman.

(was most annoyed at Boss recently when she turned down this male model who applied for job because of silly reason like he didnt have a degree or something. How discriminatory. The very fact that he could boost office productivity is reason enough to hire)

Happy New Year, Tom.

12:11 AM  
Blogger SamuraiSepeda said...

"why fuck any girl with great hair when you can fuck the girl in the ad for great hair?"

I happen to know some of those shampoo girls are actually men.. thai style surgery. lets stick to fucking real girls with great hair, and real tits.. Happy New Raya Haji, dude.

3:58 AM  
Blogger muffin-top said...

hahah.."just imagine everyone wants to fuck you?!"..good one there...oh yah Mr.Modest- Happy New Year!!! ;)

2:14 AM  
Blogger Muddy said...

Halva :

Wow, am honored you visited my blog again! ;) and hahaha what was your boss on? I guess if your boss is a dude, it makes perfect sence why he did not hire that model. Apparently your boss wants to be the one in the spotlight...kekeke...

Selamat Hari Raya to you! :)

samurai sepeda :

You got to be shitting me? Guys under the knife? And they look like that??? Haiyoh, those surgeons are good...

Oh well, hot chicks in great hair, then it is! Kekeke...

muffin-top :

Hey babe, missed chillin with you. How was your New Year by the way? Any new concerts to go with in 2006? ;)

4:51 PM  

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