Model Behavior

She's a Bad Girl

Post mind-blowing New Years’ eve celebration at Westin in the morning and post scrumptious-buffet at The Shangri-La with family in the afternoon, I went to a birthday party at night. However, this is no ordinary party.

The thing is, The Birthday Girl is famous for conjuring up themes for her parties, and for Jan 1, 2006, it was Hollywood Glamour. Determined that everyone stick to the theme like glue, she called me five hours before her party and threatened that if I did not dress like Oscar material or at least MTV Awards, she would slaughter me and feed my carcass to her cats. Damn. So I did, and felt like a complete pimp in my Tom Ford inspired gear (minus the two blond Russian girls in short, red kimonos by my arms though). Double damn.

When I arrived at the hotel room and surprisingly strolled down an actual red carpet, The Birthday Girl immediately greeted me, kissed me on the cheek and pulled me to the balcony. There she said, “Muddy, meet Ash. This is the guy I was talking about.” Oh, THIS is Ash, I thought. THIS is the guy that The Birthday Girl swooned all over YM. THIS is the guy that the other girls in the party whispered about, and their respective boyfriends booed against. And all of this is happening because he is a model.

As I listened to the flirtatious conversation between The Birthday Girl and Ash, I could not help but ask myself: why are we obsessed with models?

It is because they are hot, stupid!

Yes, honest-to-the-core speaking, the model industry is the only industry where you know your colleagues are a hundred percent guaranteed girl or boy babe. Models are also society’s definition of what it means to be physically beautiful, and for this odd reason, they are credited to be almost superior against everybody else. They are sexier. They flock among glamorous people. They lead exciting social lives. They even smell better. Hence, by perception, they are almost untouchables, so it makes perfect sense that the majority of us mortals fawn and secretly dying to date them. Shallow but true.

For example, despite my busy schedule, I have been going home early every Monday to go watch two episodes, back to back, of America’s Next Top Model. Besides the obvious reason of the joy of watching hot women dress in almost nothing in every episode (tee hee), it is interesting to go watch and understand how models behave. After watching the show, I was quite surprised that these women actually have feelings. I have always thought that extremely beautiful women, especially the ones in KL and what more models, are nothing more than money-sucking vampires.

So, a thousand apologies on my side. Because the truth is, I have friends who are dating models or even models themselves, and they are the nicest people I know. I even give tremendous credit to one of them for building my self-confidence. For example, walking into a club or even in a crowded boardroom used to make me nervous. Then one day, a model friend gave me some advice. “Just remember that everybody out there wants to fuck you.” Now, whenever I feel that same nervous feeling, I repeat that to myself and smile. Everybody wants to fuck me. Everybody wants to fuck me…

So, it’s settled. Models are after all human, but are blessed with better genes. But despite that some may come across as bitches or, for the male counterparts, mere meat that are just good for sex, there are models out there that are intelligent, caring and cultured babes. But, where are they? Where do they hang out? And most importantly, how the hell do you attract them?

According to Sky magazine, one of the safest options to get attention from a model is to ignore them. The illusion is to make it look like you haven’t noticed them at all, until you happen to be standing right next to them at the bar. The magazine also advised that it is important to take the target’s looks on the side, treat them normally and they’ll be intrigued. Be confident but not cocky. And most importantly, once they tell you that they’re a model, act slightly surprised.

I called up a model friend of mine and asked, is this all true? Is this what it takes to go date a model? She said, “Just be yourself lah Muddy. You got the goods.”

I wasn’t sure what she meant by my goods. But hey, if she said I got it, I got it. Because after all, I can’t argue against the advice of a model, can I?